Dry Witty Holiday Cheer!   

In need of laughter this Christmas season?
You MUST listen to or read David Sedaris!

SantaLand Diaries or Holidays on Ice can be played back from
This American Life Search under David Sedaris!

In SantaLand Diaries, Sedaris writes about his experience as an "elf" at a department store SantaLand. I've always wondered what kind of people get hired for those seasonal jobs in which "Santas" and "elves" must deal with thousands of children and parents.

Here is one hilarious excerpt from the book:

... A woman was standing at one of the cash registers paying for her idea of a picture, while her son lay beneath here kicking and heaving having a tantrum.
The woman said, "Riley, if you don't start behaving yourself, Santa's not going to bring you any of the toys you asked for."
The child said, "He is too going to bring me toys, liar, he already told me."
The woman grabbed my arm and said, "You there, Elf, tell Riley here that if he doesn't start behaving immediately, then Santa's going to change his mind and bring him coal for Christmas."
I said that Santa no longer traffics in coal. Instead, if you're bad he comes to your house and steals things. I told Riley that if he didn't behave himself, Santa was going to take away his TV and all his electrical appliances and leave him in the dark. "All your appliances, including the refrigerator. Your food is going to spoil and smell bad. It's going to be so cold and dark where you are. Man, Riley, are you ever going to suffer. Your're going to wish you never heard the name Santa.
The woman got a worried look on her face and said, "All right that's enough."
I said, "He's going to take your car and furniture and all the towels and blankets and leave you with nothing."
The mother said, "No, that's enough, really."

↑上の話を読みながら、腹を抱えて笑っていたワタシ・・・クリスマスってわざとらしいと思う方、ぜひ David Sedarisの SantaLand Diariesを読んでみてください。 National Public Radio のサイトからも聞けます。

by kitsunechan | 2004-12-10 08:15 | ひとりごと

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